Why it is painful when it is true...........

Jul 28

5 min read

"The train was about to leave when, suddenly, a familiar face appeared in the general compartment. I was traveling alone, surrounded by strangers. Having failed to get a sleeper ticket, I had to settle for a general compartment seat. But to encounter him here, under these circumstances, was like a lifeline.

Life has a way of throwing curveballs, doesn't it? It presents you with situations that you could never have imagined, let alone planned for.

He came and sat down in the empty seat next to me. He didn't look at me, nor did he try to recognize me. He simply sat down a few inches away, maintaining a quiet distance. Outside, it was raining softly, and he was slightly damp. I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. Even at this stage in life, he was still the same, just a little heavier.

He took out his glasses and focused on his phone. The glasses were the only sign of age I could see on him. I searched his face and head for gray hair but found none.

I quickly pulled my sari pallu over my head. I had dyed my hair a few days ago. There weren't many gray hairs, but enough to be noticeable if someone looked closely.

I got up and went to the bathroom. I took out my face wash from my handbag, washed my face thoroughly, and then looked at myself in the mirror. I didn't like what I saw, but I forced a smile and put the mirror back in my bag.

When I returned, he had moved my bag and was sitting by the window. Without even looking at me, he said, "Sorry, I was in a hurry and got sweaty. I'll move back once I've cooled down." Then he went back to his phone. He didn't even try to understand what I might be thinking. That's something I've always found frustrating about him. Yet, I don't know what it is about him that I've never been able to forget, even after all these years.

I thought maybe he hadn't noticed me yet. Maybe he would recognize me once he took a closer look. I'd gained a little weight. Perhaps that's why he didn't recognize me. I felt a wave of sadness wash over me. The man I had never been able to forget couldn't even remember my face."

"I knew marriage would make things difficult, but that didn't mean I had to give up my dreams and fantasies. I longed to spend a few moments openly with him. Even if it was just a friendly atmosphere, it would be enough.

Today, that very person was sitting next to me. I had cherished him in my heart since school. I secretly followed all his social media accounts. I found myself in every poem and every piece of poetry he wrote. Yet, he didn't recognize me today.

We never had a romantic relationship. There was no declaration of love. But he always cared for me, and I for him. After college, I got married, and he joined the army. Then he got married too. Whenever I went to the village, I would inquire about him.

Life just slipped away.

More than half an hour had passed. He was comfortably seated by the window, engrossed in his phone. He didn't even look up.

I kept switching between my phone and looking at him. I checked his social media accounts and compared the pictures. It was definitely him. No doubt about it. Women have an uncanny ability to recognize people, even after twenty years, just by their eyes.

More time passed, and the atmosphere remained the same. I kept shifting positions.

Then suddenly, the ticket collector arrived, asking for everyone's tickets. I showed mine. When he asked him, he said he didn't have one.

The ticket collector said, "You'll have to pay a fine."

He said, "Fine, go ahead."

The ticket collector asked, "Where is your ticket for?"

He didn't answer immediately. He looked at me. I was confused.

He looked intently at the ticket in my hand and then told the ticket collector, "Kanpur."

The ticket collector made a ticket for Kanpur and took the money.

He returned to his phone.

Finally, I couldn't resist. I asked, "Where do you live in Kanpur?"

He kept his eyes glued to the phone and said, "Nowhere."

When he fell silent, I asked, "Are you going there for work?"

He said, "Yes."

I fell silent. He was talking like a stranger, and how could I ask a stranger about their work?

After a while, I asked again, "Maybe you work there?"

He said, "No."

I mustered up the courage to ask, "Are you going to meet someone?"

The same brief answer, "No."

After his last answer, I didn't dare to ask anything else. He was a strange man, traveling without a purpose.

I turned away and focused on my phone.

After a while, he said, "You might as well ask why I'm going to Kanpur."

My reply came out quickly, "Tell me, why are you going?"

Then I felt embarrassed by my eagerness.

He smiled slightly and said, "An old friend is traveling alone today. I'm in the army, so it's my duty to protect her. That's why I'm dropping her off in Kanpur."

My heart raced. I couldn't stay composed.

Trying to suppress my emotions, I gathered my courage and asked again, "Where is this friend?"

He smiled again and said, "She's sitting right here next to me."

Everything became clear. I understood why he didn't have a ticket. He didn't know where I was going. He was traveling from Delhi to Kanpur just for me. I was so happy that tears welled up in my eyes.

A ball of emotions formed in my heart and burst. My eyes filled with tears.

He asked, "Why are you crying?"

I could only say, "You're a man, you wouldn't understand."

He said, "I write a little, so I'm also a poet and writer. I can understand."

I composed myself and said, "Thank you for recognizing me and taking the time for me."

He said, "I saw you alone at the platform. No one was with you, so I had to come. It was Raksha Bandhan yesterday, so there was a lot of crowd. You shouldn't travel alone like this."

"My brothers couldn't take leave, and my brother who lives here is busy. I had to come to tie Rakhi." I explained my situation.

"You're going to tie Rakhi to brothers who don't even care if their sister travels alone for such a long distance?"

"After marriage, brothers become brothers-in-law. My parents are no more." I said sadly.

He said, "Then your husband should understand."

"He's very busy. I don't disturb him much. And these days, it's not that dangerous. I can travel alone. Tell me about yourself. How are you?"

"I'm fine, just getting by."

"Do you miss me?" I asked courageously.

He fell silent.

When he didn't say anything, I said, "Sorry, I just asked. You're mature now, you can handle this."

He opened the button of his shirt and showed me the copper bracelet I had given him on Friendship Day. He said, "I don't miss you, but this reminds me of you."

Seeing the bracelet comforted my heart. I said, "Why didn't you contact me?"

He said, "I didn't want to disturb you. You have your life, and I have mine."

Fearfully, I asked, "Can I touch you?"

He said, "Won't it be a sin?"

And then I held his hand until we reached Kanpur..."

..We talked a lot. It was a day I would never forget until my last breath.

He dropped me off at my house and left without staying. He had duty in Jammu.

We never spoke again because neither of us took the other's number.

Although nothing inappropriate happened between us, it was a pure relationship, but maintaining the dignity of the relationship was important.

Exactly a month later, I read in the newspaper that he had been martyred for the country. I can't describe what I went through. I don't know what his family went through.

Out of fear of social stigma, I couldn't attend his last rites.

Today is the first anniversary of our meeting, and it's the second day of Raksha Bandhan again. I'm traveling from Delhi to Kanpur again, intentionally taking a ticket for the general compartment.

I'm alone. I don't know why my heart is hoping that he will come again and sit by the window to dry his sweat.

One journey had a companion.

Today's journey has his memories as a companion. The rest of life's journey continues. We'll see who comes and who goes...!!!❤

It is not only Painful but incomplete as well when it is true

I hope you did not cried reading this........

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